"Split Personality"

I was reading "My Utmost for His Highest" this morning and the reading really hit home. It spoke about duplicity, or putting it more succinctly, split personality. We used to call it being "two faced".

As Christians we are held to a "higher calling". Certainly all of our behaviors, whether it be language or lifestyle choices, behaviors, temperment or whatever, are choices we make. And regardless of any of those, if we are living in the Word and have Jesus as our Savior, we are forgiven. But there comes a point in our journey where we begin to make choices according to our core values. A simple example would be cursing or "swearing".

In my own family it was totally acceptable and indeed expected, that adults used profanity. Children were not supposed to but of course always did when out of earshot of their parents, because it was evidently an indicator of being "grown-up" and sophisticated. Kind of like smoking. This is an age-old problem that still exists today, as we are only too aware!

Somewhere down the line I began to realize that as I grew closer to the Lord, profanity did not garner the same satisfaction as it used to. Yes, like most of my friends who grew up in the 70s, I threw out the occasional foul word. I began to realize that I actually felt uncomfortable immediately following my use of any swear word. It felt strangely "inappropriate". It became even worse when I was in the presence of someone else using profanity. Some words are worse than others, of course (NOT). I laugh, because that's like being "slightly pregnant"..... it's either a swear word or it isn't!

But I digress. My point is this: Are we the same person(ality) when we are alone as we are around others? Or does our personality (the way we act) change when we are around brothers and sisters in Christ? Here's where my downfall has been. If I am in the workplace or at a community event, and someone is speaking to me and says something they would NEVER say in a church, and then look at me and apologize, I tend to say "oh, don't apologize! I want you to feel you can be yourself around me. Never feel self-conscious or feel as if you have to change who you are around me!" And I truly mean that! BUT (and here's the true confession) I find myself occasionally in a conversation where I am surprised, or caught off guard, or for whatever the excuse du jour is-- and I spout out an expletive. NOT cool.

Understand, please, this is not about language. It's about a word that Pastor Steven Schmidt gave me.... "That's NOT who I am."

We do want people to feel comfortable around us, and not to act like someone else. But that doesn't mean we have to slide into behaviors that are contrary to our core values! It's almost like peer pressure... we want to be cool! I have at times done this and even used evangelism as an excuse. I can get closer to them if they think I'm just like them. Forgive my bluntness...but I'm hoping someone out there identifies with what I'm saying.

I strive, through the Holy Spirit's interaction and intervention, to act as if Jesus was standing, sitting, walking, working out, cooking, waiting in traffic, whatever,  right next to me and I can see Him. Of course, HE IS, and I should be able to. So my resolve is to be kinder, gentler, more forgiving, more responsible, more loving. Without the help of the Holy Spirit, none of this is possible. And I don't do these things because it will get me into heaven. If you live only to get to heaven, you have missed the Kingdom! Jesus died so that we could have LIFE and more abundantly! I do all these things because I long to be more like Him. When someone is with me, I want to be able to say to them "God is kind of like me, only a million times better!" and not choke on the words!

So in my day to day, working, eating, walking around life, I just surrender it all to Him. Yeah, sometimes I slip and fall. And because He loves me, He allows me to. He then picks me up, kisses me, and aims me back in the right direction saying "GOOD EFFORT, LITTLE ONE!"

I strive to be one person, one persona, one personality, no matter who I am with. May God be pleased. I should only care if HE thinks I'm "cool"!!!